Lulu RiveraI'm a pastor's wife, mom, and then Author, Biblical Counselor, Life Purpose Coach, Financial Coach, Bible Teacher, and Speaker. Archives
May 2024
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Handling The Empty Nest Syndrome5/15/2019 According to Psychology Today, the empty nest syndrome is, "A transitional period in life that highlights loneliness and loss." Many parents experience this when all their children leave the home. The symptoms are: Sadness, loss, depression, loneliness, distress, and a loss of purpose and meaning in life. It is especially hard to a stay-at-home parent as well as a single parent. I heard one time that if you prepare for the inevitable, it will lessen the pain of it when it comes. Well, I had been preparing for it but it did not lessen the pain at all.
When my oldest son left, I went into his room the next day with a bucket of paint and completely transformed a teenager's bedroom into a guest room. This helped because I no longer was looking at things that reminded me of when he lived here. I missed him but felt comfort knowing he was only 30 minutes away.. He would also visit about once a week. Now it's different; he joined the Air Force and there's really no telling when I will see my son again, which only adds more sadness. Moreover, my second and remaining son, is moving across the country in 3 weeks to attend college and live permanently. I certainly won't see him once a week! This only adds more grief to my plate.Yes, I already have the paint and decor ready for his room transformation! It is recommended that you find things to keep you busy such as have an active social life, pick up a hobby, travel, and/or pursue career or educational goals. Although I keep very busy writing books and doing DIY home projects, I'm still dealing with the grief. I know eventually it will subside. I'm grateful I have the most wonderful husband who makes me laugh and is helping me through this transition. How about you? Have you experienced the empty nest syndrome? How did you deal with it? What do you wish you had done differently?
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Get Out of Your Slump7/12/2018 There once was a story about a man named Elijah. He was a Hebrew prophet and a reformer (activist for God). He was radical. He stood up against 450 false prophets. He sounds like a tough guy, right? Yet when he was given a message from Queen Jezebel that he was going to be dead meat, he fled into the wilderness. Jezebel was ticked off because Elijah killed all the false prophets. This story is found in the Bible in I Kings Chapter 19 verses 1 through 21.
Elijah went into the wilderness (desert) and asked God to let him die. He was utterly discouraged. He was having a pity party. Elijah did what many of us do; we end up in a dry place. We hide under a rock, hibernate in a cave, isolate ourselves from our friends and loved ones, even church. It feels like nothing is going our way, we feel dry; as if God left us. We wonder what is happening to us. We ask why God is allowing everything and everybody to come against us. We feel all alone. But all things work together for our good even being in the wilderness for a time. When we stare too much at our circumstances, it tends to change our perception of it. We lose focus and concentrate on the problem, thereby becoming self-occupied. God is so faithful that He always meets us right where we are. In verse 5 God sent an angel to Elijah who told him to get up and eat. The angel did this twice because the journey was too great for him. God sends us people to encourage us as well. That food gave Elijah the strength he would need for the next 40 days. We must feed our spirit in order to carry on and make it to the end of our journey. We must strengthen ourselves in the Word of God, in prayer, in worship and in fellowship with other saints. It is what keeps us going in times of disappointment, discouragement, tough circumstances, opposition, and oppression. We cannot make it on our own! We need to receive strength from God when walking through an uncertain and unknown path. We need people to come alongside us and help us through it. Elijah was once again in a cave resting when the Lord came to him (verse 9). God asked Elijah, “What are you doing here?” Elijah goes on to complain that he’s all alone, he’s the only one who is zealous for God. Again, in verse 13 the same scenario plays out. God didn’t speak through the rocks breaking or the earthquake. The Spirit Filled Life Bible says He came in a delicate whispering voice. This is why it is so important to be quiet and listen in order to hear from God. When we pray, we need to always give God a chance to speak to us. We need to stop rambling all the time. James 1:19 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” In verse 15 God gives Elijah three new assignments. It’s time for him to get out of his slump, his depression and get back to work, doing the Lord’s will. God also lets Elijah know that there is a remnant of 7,000 Godly people still in Israel who have not bowed down to Baal. Elijah was not all alone as he thought. You are never alone. There are many others going through what you’re experiencing. We must reach out for help and encouragement. So what can we learn from Elijah’s story? We must remember to stop complaining so much when things don’t go as we think they should. God is in control. He is allowing it for a reason. We always grow from trials. Then we are able to minister to those who are going through the same thing. When they see that you came out of it victoriously, they will be encouraged by it, and it will strengthen their faith. Don’t give up. Your ministry is not washed up. You must hang in there no matter what. Those who hang in there until the very end will win the race. We are being molded, shaped, changed, and strengthened. It is an awesome thing. Look at this way, God must really care for you if He is paying all this attention to you and taking the time to mold you. There must be something great waiting for you at the end of this trial. Embrace it and learn from it.
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Womanhood - A Word of Exhortation2/12/2018 When you hear the word “womanhood,” what comes to your mind? When I set out to write my book, “Purposed for Womanhood," I was appalled at what I found on the internet as I searched the word “womanhood.” The results were erotic and perverted. It was certainly not what I expected. It’s no wonder many church-going women buy into the latest trend of showing lots of cleavage or their breasts. They don’t have a Biblical understanding of womanhood.
Biblical womanhood calls for decency, dignity and self-respect. Some may think they have to give up fashion and dress like the Amish women (no offense to them intended at all). We certainly don’t have to go to the extreme. But we are called to use wisdom and discretion. It breaks my heart to see young women (who claim to be Christian) dressing in a manner that illustrates they are still allowing the world to dictate their fashion picks. Ladies, if you are in ministry or are a church leader, please be the example the other women desperately need. Don’t show cleavage or your breasts. If you do, you don’t have the right to complain that people are looking at you a certain way or that men are being aroused by what you are exposing. I’m even seeing this type of dress on Christian television. How sad and disturbing that the network even allows this. Let’s respect and honor our God. Let’s be the example the church needs. Only then will we be the example the world needs. We cannot bring the world into the church. We are to be the light they desperately need.
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Starting Over2/7/2018 A few years ago I attempted to sign into my Wordpress blog account. I tried and tried but to no avail. I researched the web to find a justifiable reason for my blog site not opening. It turns out that when I was in the midst of switching web hosts, my blog was deleted because it was linked to the host of my previous website. Frustrated? You better believe it! I wrote for five years in that blog and never even thought I would need a backup of all my writings.
So here I am, starting from scratch. This inconvenient circumstance reminded me of when I had to start my life over after being married for 20 years. We all, at one time or another, are forced to start over because life throws curve balls at us. How do you handle curve balls? Change? Crisis? Loss? In order to stay sane in this insane world we live in, it is crucial that we learn how to handle change in an effective way. Many people choose to become bitter and angry at what happens to them. They don't realize that anger and bitterness robs them of joy. Don't allow unexpected circumstances to defeat you. Just like when I educated myself on the blog issue, you should educate yourself on whatever change life has thrown at you. Learn how to handle that change, embrace it, and find the good in it. As my hubby always says, "flip that baby!" |