I'm a pastor's wife, mom, and then Author, Biblical Counselor, Life Purpose Coach, Financial Coach, Bible Teacher, and Speaker.
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Do you ever tell a friend about something that just happened to you and they’re quick to give you their opinion? They immediately give you their solution to your problem. They don’t realize it but they’re insinuating that you are not wise enough to solve your own problems. How about that friend that all they do is quote scriptures to you? Don’t you ever want to say to these friends, “Look, I just need to vent. I don’t need you to solve my problem, and I already know the Bible. Can you just be my friend?”
Do you ever just wish to have a friendship with someone, but they only come to you when they need something from you? They suck you dry and then you don’t hear from them again until they have a new challenge. Then there are those who only reach out to you to send you articles or videos on subjects they like but you have no interest in. Yet you wish they would reach out to say, “Hey, how are you? I’ve been thinking of you. We should catch up soon.” Then there are those that you are friendly with, but they have no interest in reciprocating the friendliness. Actually, all they do is talk about themselves. They never ask you how you are doing. It's all one sided.
I find that the older we get, the more difficult it is to find meaningful friendships. When I was much younger, I had many friends. The older I got, the less friends I had. I understand that many times, people are busy with their families and their lifestyles. Some may already have friends and feel that they don’t need a new friend. These things make a person feel sad, hurt, and lonely.
Don’t be that kind of friend. Be the friend that is sensitive to people’s needs. Reciprocate the friendship. Be an active listener. Don’t assume you are being asked for counsel. Wait until you are asked for your opinion. Don’t be overly religious and assume your friend doesn’t have the faith to pull through in their situation. Give them more credit than that. And for the love of God, stop saying, “THIS TOO SHALL PASS!” Just be a friend!
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According to Psychology Today, the empty nest syndrome is, "A transitional period in life that highlights loneliness and loss." Many parents experience this when all their children leave the home. The symptoms are: Sadness, loss, depression, loneliness, distress, and a loss of purpose and meaning in life. It is especially hard to a stay-at-home parent as well as a single parent. I heard one time that if you prepare for the inevitable, it will lessen the pain of it when it comes. Well, I had been preparing for it but it did not lessen the pain at all.
When my oldest son left, I went into his room the next day with a bucket of paint and completely transformed a teenager's bedroom into a guest room. This helped because I no longer was looking at things that reminded me of when he lived here. I missed him but felt comfort knowing he was only 30 minutes away.. He would also visit about once a week. Now it's different; he joined the Air Force and there's really no telling when I will see my son again, which only adds more sadness. Moreover, my second and remaining son, is moving across the country in 3 weeks to attend college and live permanently. I certainly won't see him once a week! This only adds more grief to my plate.Yes, I already have the paint and decor ready for his room transformation!
It is recommended that you find things to keep you busy such as have an active social life, pick up a hobby, travel, and/or pursue career or educational goals. Although I keep very busy writing books and doing DIY home projects, I'm still dealing with the grief. I know eventually it will subside. I'm grateful I have the most wonderful husband who makes me laugh and is helping me through this transition.
How about you? Have you experienced the empty nest syndrome? How did you deal with it? What do you wish you had done differently?
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In my latest book, Building Yourself Up, I include 12 lessons followed by questions and answers. This book will help the Christian believer understand some of our doctrinal beliefs. I remember when I was a new believer, I didn't understand the whole concept of Jesus dying "for my sins." I never heard it explained in church. It took years of me studying the Bible to learn how it all began with the fall of man. That led to spiritual (and physical) death. Then it led to animal sacrifices and everything that was done under the Mosaic law to be forgiven for our sins. I discuss the need for a savior, which would be the final sacrifice for our sins. I explain why the Jews do not accept Jesus as messiah. In another chapter I talked about attending gatherings with other believers and taking communion. I talk about the two separate experiences of salvation and the baptism of the Holy Spirit.
I teach on how to study the Bible and what is true Biblical meditation. You'll also learn about prayer; what time do we pray and for how long, what position, and famous prayers in the Bible. I explain about fasting, who fasted in the Bible, for how long, why, and what did they fast from. I teach about the fruits and gifts of the Holy Spirit. I tackle tough subjects like the security of the believer. I shed light on the scriptures modern preachers use to manipulate the believers. I explain the difference between tithing, giving, and alms, which most churches don't properly teach.
I explain what evangelism is and why we are all called to evangelize. In Lesson 10 I explain spiritual warfare. Finally, I close with principles for Christian living and developing a Christian worldview.
Satan's most effective weapon against believers is deception. He can only deceive you if you are not praying, studying and meditating on God's Word, and if you are not submitted completely to God. Therefore, build yourself up!
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Just when you think you're a has-been but God has another assignment for you. Click HERE to read the article.
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Have you ever daydreamed about yourself doing something great? Have you ever had thoughts run through your mind that start with the words, “what if I …?” Then you return to reality and think, “yeah right, that could never happen to me because…” I have thought that way many times. Most of us, think that way. We see ourselves small in our eyes in the same manner that Gideon viewed himself as the least of the least in Judges 6:15. Gideon asked God how will it be possible that he can save Israel if his tribe is the weakest of all tribes and he is the youngest of his family. In the natural, it is not realistic that a person like Gideon can do something great. Yet God chooses people as He sees fit for a certain assignment.
God can take us to places we never thought was possible because in the natural, we fall short. We may lack experience, credentials, education, talent, gifts, etc. Yet God can choose us precisely because of those reasons. That’s how we know it’s a God thing. We cannot take credit for it; God gets all the glory. We must always stay humble and acknowledge it is He who does it through the Holy Spirit that is inside of us.
God has been blowing my mind lately because of the doors he has been opening for me, the people I have been meeting, and the things I have been doing. I asked Him for something small and He gave me something huge! Now I better understand Ephesians 3:20-21, which says, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, unto HIM be glory in the church by Christ Jesus…”(NKJV)
What about you? Has God blown your mind by something He has done that you never imagined would happen?
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We are warned throughout the Bible to beware of deception. To read my article on deception, click here: ezinearticles.com/?Detecting-Deception&id=7874422
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Here's an article I wrote about how to recognize when your enemy, Satan, is at work in your life. Click here to read the whole article: Recognize Your Enemy
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When you hear the word “womanhood,” what comes to your mind? When I set out to write my book, “Purposed for Womanhood," I was appalled at what I found on the internet as I searched the word “womanhood.” The results were erotic and perverted. It was certainly not what I expected. It’s no wonder many church-going women buy into the latest trend of showing lots of cleavage or their breasts. They don’t have a Biblical understanding of womanhood.
Biblical womanhood calls for decency, dignity and self-respect. Some may think they have to give up fashion and dress like the Amish women (no offense to them intended at all). We certainly don’t have to go to the extreme. But we are called to use wisdom and discretion. It breaks my heart to see young women (who claim to be Christian) dressing in a manner that illustrates they are still allowing the world to dictate their fashion picks. Ladies, if you are in ministry or are a church leader, please be the example the other women desperately need. Don’t show cleavage or your breasts. If you do, you don’t have the right to complain that people are looking at you a certain way or that men are being aroused by what you are exposing. I’m even seeing this type of dress on Christian television. How sad and disturbing that the network even allows this.
Let’s respect and honor our God. Let’s be the example the church needs. Only then will we be the example the world needs. We cannot bring the world into the church. We are to be the light they desperately need.
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A few years ago I attempted to sign into my Wordpress blog account. I tried and tried but to no avail. I researched the web to find a justifiable reason for my blog site not opening. It turns out that when I was in the midst of switching web hosts, my blog was deleted because it was linked to the host of my previous website. Frustrated? You better believe it! I wrote for five years in that blog and never even thought I would need a backup of all my writings.
So here I am, starting from scratch. This inconvenient circumstance reminded me of when I had to start my life over after being married for 20 years. We all, at one time or another, are forced to start over because life throws curve balls at us.
How do you handle curve balls? Change? Crisis? Loss? In order to stay sane in this insane world we live in, it is crucial that we learn how to handle change in an effective way. Many people choose to become bitter and angry at what happens to them. They don't realize that anger and bitterness robs them of joy.
Don't allow unexpected circumstances to defeat you. Just like when I educated myself on the blog issue, you should educate yourself on whatever change life has thrown at you. Learn how to handle that change, embrace it, and find the good in it. As my hubby always says, "flip that baby!"