​Weight gain is a difficult subject to talk about. Some people get offended, and others get embarrassed. Being a person who weighed 98 pounds all my life, I tried gaining weight to no avail. It wasn’t until my late fifties that I began to gain weight. I blame it on menopause and unhealthy eating. Suddenly, I found myself shocked and conflicted. I had never had to worry about my weight and now the script has flipped. Now my weight is bothering me. I read about the millions of weight loss programs, gimmicks, differing opinions, and solutions. I knew I wanted to lose weight but did not know how to go about it or where to begin. Sure, I read countless articles and watched countless videos. Still, I did not know how to begin. Honestly, I believed that it was hopeless. I felt I had to accept this new reality of being overweight because that’s what happens to menopausal women. I was wrong.
 
I became interested in red light therapy and its effects. So, I visited a local chiropractor that was offering a red-light therapy special. While there, they offered me a 20-session package at a special rate. They also suggested a weight loss program called Thinfinity. They gave me a reduced price on Thinfinity because I had signed up for red light therapy. After explaining to me how it all works, I signed up for both programs. This is where my health and weight loss journey began. I was now being offered an opportunity to embark on something I had desired to do but didn’t know how to. The best thing about both plans is that neither involved drugs. It was all natural.
 
Before I started both programs, I had already eliminated bread and candy from my diet. After I went on this program, I basically went cold turkey on carbs and sugar. My diet was strict for six weeks. I lost 15 pounds within those six weeks. I dismissed the first 7 pounds as I assumed it was water weight. But when I continued losing, I began to get excited because I knew it was fat I was losing.
 
I took my journey very seriously, and I was completely committed. Even though the first three weeks were very difficult, I stuck to it. The following three weeks were still strict, but I gradually introduced certain foods to my diet. After six weeks, I was now allowed to cautiously eat what I wanted. However, you can easily gain weight if you continue eating unhealthy foods. Because I worked so hard to lose weight, I was not about to jeopardize my new weight. I do not eat carbs, sugar, unhealthy ingredients, or anything that can cause bloating. I also began exercising.
 
The results are insane. I no longer experience acid reflux, which was occurring almost daily. I no longer get headaches, which I would frequently get. I still eat my favorite pizza occasionally, but it does not affect me. I don’t feel sluggish. I used to wake up with lower back pain every day. Although I still have a lower back condition, I no longer wake up complaining about my back. I also don’t feel the depression I had.
 
I am still on this journey to lose several more pounds. I am also continuing my exercise. I feel great about myself. I began this journey thinking it was impossible to change. Yet I have learned that you can’t say it’s impossible if you haven’t first tried to conquer it. If this describes you, be of good courage. Commit to a plan or program that you think may work for you. Journal every detail about your journey and learn from it. Tweak it if you must, but do not give up. 

One subject that seems to create a debate is the subject of women dressing modestly. You have churches that are extreme in their teaching and thus require women to not wear jewelry, makeup, or pants. Then you have the other extreme where churches take the freedom we have in Jesus to not have any guidelines for dress. There must be a healthy, Godly balance. To do so, we must understand exactly what the Bible says on the subject. 
 
The Bible has so much to say to a believer about how to conduct themselves in a Godly manner. There are, however, several verses referring specifically to women. Paul wrote a letter to Timothy concerning the manner of dress of the women in the church of Ephesus. He said in I Timothy 2:9-10, “(In like manner) that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing but which is proper for women professing godliness with good works” (NKJV). Paul was addressing the issue of dress because prostitutes during this time wore fancy clothes and jewelry to attract men. Paul says if a woman is professing to be a Christian then she should look like one. He makes it clear that a woman is to be modest and sensible. In other words, people ought to be able to look at you and recognize you are not a common woman. 2 Corinthians 6:17 says to come out from among “them” (the world) and be separate. Women are to avoid vanity and worldliness. This in no way means a woman cannot look nice. It means there must be balance. A woman should look nice and take pride in her appearance. However, a woman should not spend all her time and effort on looking so good on the outside that she fails to develop inner beauty. A woman should care more about developing a Godly character which includes self-control, wisdom, love, and compassion among other things. 
 
Peter also wrote a letter to believers in several parts of Asia Minor concerning the subject of dress. In I Peter 3:3-4, he writes, “Do not let your adornment be merely outward-arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel, rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (NKJV). Again, we see the same theme in Peter’s letter that we saw in Paul’s. Women were concentrating too much on their outward appearance instead of developing a Godly character.  Not only is a woman to dress modestly but she should not be unruly and unrestrained. 
 
The lack of modest dressing is due to several factors. First of all, we live in a society that teaches women to dress promiscuously. Even girls in middle schools are wearing extremely low-cut blouses and super short shorts to school. Secondly, the church has become lukewarm and compromising. Many of today’s churches have congregants show up in jeans, sneakers, shorts and sandals among other things. They want to send the message that you can come as you are. Even the pastors are called by their first name, not pastor. Their message is “we’re trying to keep it real.” I agree that visitors and new believers should come as they are. However, there comes a time when they need to stop drinking milk and start eating meat. As believers mature in their faith, it should be evident in their manner of speech, their behavior, their thinking and in their way of dressing. Many churches don’t have women teaching other women what is appropriate.  Another factor is low self-esteem. There are so many women that feel insecure about their looks that they think they have to look a certain way in order to be noticed. This includes women that are aging. They want to appear younger than they are, so they begin to wear tight-fitting clothes, lots of makeup and very high heeled shoes. Women need to be taught what the Bible says about inward and outward beauty so that their thinking can be renewed. Another factor is that there are some cultures that are very liberal in the way they dress. Lastly, there are just some women who do not want to change the way they are. They either do not see anything wrong with their way of dress or they have an unteachable spirit. 
 
So, how’s a woman to dress? First of all, women ought to ask the Holy Spirit for His opinion. Secondly, use wisdom and common sense. We can be fashionable and stylish and still be modest. Thirdly, don’t wear clothes that are provocative. We are not to cause any men to stumble. Also, sometimes the latest in fashion may be something that does not flatter your appearance. Wear clothes that flatter you and hide your flaws. Finally, respect yourself. Know your self-worth as a woman of God. If you’re trying to get people’s attention, you really need to do some soul searching and ask God what is causing you to do that so that you can be set free from it. I miss the days when women dressed with pure class and sophistication. Now women leave little to the imagination. Let’s get classy for our Lord Jesus!

Do you ever tell a friend about something that just happened to you and they’re quick to give you their opinion? They immediately give you their solution to your problem. They don’t realize it but they’re insinuating that you are not wise enough to solve your own problems. How about that friend that all they do is quote scriptures to you? Don’t you ever want to say to these friends, “Look, I just need to vent. I don’t need you to solve my problem, and I already know the Bible. Can you just be my friend?”

Do you ever just wish to have a friendship with someone, but they only come to you when they need something from you? They suck you dry and then you don’t hear from them again until they have a new challenge. Then there are those who only reach out to you to send you articles or videos on subjects they like but you have no interest in. Yet you wish they would reach out to say, “Hey, how are you? I’ve been thinking of you. We should catch up soon.” Then there are those that you are friendly with, but they have no interest in reciprocating the friendliness. Actually, all they do is talk about themselves. They never ask you how you are doing. It's all one sided.
 
I find that the older we get, the more difficult it is to find meaningful friendships. When I was much younger, I had many friends. The older I got, the less friends I had. I understand that many times, people are busy with their families and their lifestyles. Some may already have friends and feel that they don’t need a new friend. These things make a person feel sad, hurt, and lonely.
 
Don’t be that kind of friend. Be the friend that is sensitive to people’s needs. Reciprocate the friendship. Be an active listener. Don’t assume you are being asked for counsel. Wait until you are asked for your opinion. Don’t be overly religious and assume your friend doesn’t have the faith to pull through in their situation. Give them more credit than that. And for the love of God, stop saying, “THIS TOO SHALL PASS!” Just be a friend!

According to Psychology Today, the empty nest syndrome is, "A transitional period in life that highlights loneliness and loss." Many parents experience this when all their children leave the home. The symptoms are: Sadness, loss, depression, loneliness, distress, and a loss of purpose and meaning in life. It is especially hard to a stay-at-home parent as well as a single parent. I heard one time that if you prepare for the inevitable, it will lessen the pain of it when it comes. Well, I had been preparing for it but it did not lessen the pain at all.

When my oldest son left, I went into his room the next day with a bucket of paint and completely transformed a teenager's bedroom into a guest room. This helped because I no longer was looking at things that reminded me of when he lived here. I missed him but felt comfort knowing he was only 30 minutes away.. He would also visit about once a week. Now it's different; he joined the Air Force and there's really no telling when I will see my son again, which only adds more sadness. Moreover, my second and remaining son, is moving across the country in 3 weeks to attend college and live permanently. I certainly won't see him once a week! This only adds more grief to my plate.Yes, I already have the paint and decor ready for his room transformation!

It is recommended that you find things to keep you busy such as have an active social life, pick up a hobby, travel, and/or pursue career or educational goals. Although I keep very busy writing books and doing DIY home projects, I'm still dealing with the grief. I know eventually it will subside. I'm grateful I have the most wonderful husband who makes me laugh and is helping me through this transition.
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How about you? Have you experienced the empty nest syndrome? How did you deal with it? What do you wish you had done differently?

In my latest book, Building Yourself Up, I include 12 lessons followed by questions and answers. This book will help the Christian believer understand some of our doctrinal beliefs. I remember when I was a new believer, I didn't understand the whole concept of Jesus dying "for my sins." I never heard it explained in church. It took years of me studying the Bible to learn how it all began with the fall of man. That led to spiritual (and physical) death. Then it led to animal sacrifices and everything that was done under the Mosaic law to be forgiven for our sins. I discuss the need for a savior, which would be the final sacrifice for our sins. I explain why the Jews do not accept Jesus as messiah. In another chapter I talked about attending gatherings with other believers and taking communion. I talk about the two separate experiences of salvation and the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

I teach on how to study the Bible and what is true Biblical meditation. You'll also learn about prayer; what time do we pray and for how long, what position, and famous prayers in the Bible. I explain about fasting, who fasted in the Bible, for how long, why, and what did they fast from. I teach about the fruits and gifts of the Holy Spirit. I tackle tough subjects like the security of the believer. I shed light on the scriptures modern preachers use to manipulate the believers. I explain the difference between tithing, giving, and alms, which most churches don't properly teach.

I explain what evangelism is and why we are all called to evangelize. In Lesson 10 I explain spiritual warfare. Finally, I close with principles for Christian living and developing a Christian worldview.
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Satan's most effective weapon against believers is deception. He can only deceive you if you are not praying, studying and meditating on God's Word, and if you are not submitted completely to God. Therefore, build yourself up!

There once was a story about a man named Elijah. He was a Hebrew prophet and a reformer (activist for God). He was radical. He stood up against 450 false prophets. He sounds like a tough guy, right? Yet when he was given a message from Queen Jezebel that he was going to be dead meat, he fled into the wilderness. Jezebel was ticked off because Elijah killed all the false prophets. This story is found in the Bible in I Kings Chapter 19 verses 1 through 21.
 
Elijah went into the wilderness (desert) and asked God to let him die. He was utterly discouraged. He was having a pity party. Elijah did what many of us do; we end up in a dry place. We hide under a rock, hibernate in a cave, isolate ourselves from our friends and loved ones, even church. It feels like nothing is going our way, we feel dry; as if God left us. We wonder what is happening to us. We ask why God is allowing everything and everybody to come against us. We feel all alone. But all things work together for our good even being in the wilderness for a time. When we stare too much at our circumstances, it tends to change our perception of it. We lose focus and concentrate on the problem, thereby becoming self-occupied. 
 
God is so faithful that He always meets us right where we are. In verse 5 God sent an angel to Elijah who told him to get up and eat. The angel did this twice because the journey was too great for him. God sends us people to encourage us as well. That food gave Elijah the strength he would need for the next 40 days. We must feed our spirit in order to carry on and make it to the end of our journey. We must strengthen ourselves in the Word of God, in prayer, in worship and in fellowship with other saints. It is what keeps us going in times of disappointment, discouragement, tough circumstances, opposition, and oppression. We cannot make it on our own! We need to receive strength from God when walking through an uncertain and unknown path. We need people to come alongside us and help us through it. 
 
Elijah was once again in a cave resting when the Lord came to him (verse 9). God asked Elijah, “What are you doing here?” Elijah goes on to complain that he’s all alone, he’s the only one who is zealous for God. Again, in verse 13 the same scenario plays out.  God didn’t speak through the rocks breaking or the earthquake. The Spirit Filled Life Bible says He came in a delicate whispering voice. This is why it is so important to be quiet and listen in order to hear from God. When we pray, we need to always give God a chance to speak to us. We need to stop rambling all the time. James 1:19 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” 
 
In verse 15 God gives Elijah three new assignments. It’s time for him to get out of his slump, his depression and get back to work, doing the Lord’s will. God also lets Elijah know that there is a remnant of 7,000 Godly people still in Israel who have not bowed down to Baal. Elijah was not all alone as he thought. You are never alone. There are many others going through what you’re experiencing. We must reach out for help and encouragement.
 
So what can we learn from Elijah’s story? We must remember to stop complaining so much when things don’t go as we think they should. God is in control. He is allowing it for a reason. We always grow from trials. Then we are able to minister to those who are going through the same thing. When they see that you came out of it victoriously, they will be encouraged by it, and it will strengthen their faith. Don’t give up. Your ministry is not washed up. You must hang in there no matter what. Those who hang in there until the very end will win the race. We are being molded, shaped, changed, and strengthened. It is an awesome thing.
 
Look at this way, God must really care for you if He is paying all this attention to you and taking the time to mold you. There must be something great waiting for you at the end of this trial. Embrace it and learn from it.  

Have you ever daydreamed about yourself doing something great? Have you ever had thoughts run through your mind that start with the words, “what if I …?” Then you return to reality and think, “yeah right, that could never happen to me because…”  I have thought that way many times. Most of us, think that way. We see ourselves small in our eyes in the same manner that Gideon viewed himself as the least of the least in Judges 6:15. Gideon asked God how will it be possible that he can save Israel if his tribe is the weakest of all tribes and he is the youngest of his family. In the natural, it is not realistic that a person like Gideon can do something great. Yet God chooses people as He sees fit for a certain assignment.

God can take us to places we never thought was possible because in the natural, we fall short. We may lack experience, credentials, education, talent, gifts, etc. Yet God can choose us precisely because of those reasons. That’s how we know it’s a God thing. We cannot take credit for it; God gets all the glory. We must always stay humble and acknowledge it is He who does it through the Holy Spirit that is inside of us. 

God has been blowing my mind lately because of the doors he has been opening for me, the people I have been meeting, and the things I have been doing. I asked Him for something small and He gave me something huge! Now I better understand Ephesians 3:20-21, which says, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, unto HIM be glory in the church by Christ Jesus…”(NKJV)​

What about you? Has God blown your mind by something He has done that you never imagined would happen? 

Have you ever been fooled? Has anyone close to you deceived you? Have you believed teachings that were inaccurate? Did you tell yourself, “I’m never letting anybody fool me again!”  That’s good but not good enough. We don’t have to go around being suspicious of every person we know.  What we do need is discernment! That’s the key to avoiding deception as much as we are able to. 
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Deception is a very dangerous thing because it can lead us astray. It leads us into error. It can also be devastating when done by somebody you trust and love. We never expect those we love and trust to deceive us, yet it happens all too often. Here are ways we can be deceived:
 

• Trusting people even when we have a gut feeling about them
• The pride of your heart (Obadiah 1:3)
• Trusting in futile (vain, empty, false) things (Job 15:31)
• Bearing false witness against an innocent person (Prov.  24:28)
• False prophets (Matt. 24:11)
• Sin (Rom. 7:11)
• Smooth words and flattering speech (Rom. 16:18)
• Yourself – wise in your own conceit (I Cor. 3:18)
• Evil company (I Cor. 15:33)
• Thinking too highly of yourself (Gal. 6:3)
• Seducing spirits (I Tim. 4:1)
• Thinking you do not reap what you sow (Gal. 6:7)
• People who speak empty (vain, devoid of truth) words (Eph. 5:6)
• Persuasive (speech that leads into error) words from others (Col. 2:4)
• When you hear the gospel but do not do what it says (Jam. 1:22)
• If you consider yourself religious but do not bridle (control) your tongue (Jam. 1:26)

 
So how do we guard ourselves from being deceived? Here are some ways:

1. Ask God for an understanding heart (I Kings 3:9)
2. Observe God’s laws (Prov. 28:7)
3. Listening to the Holy Spirit (I Cor. 2:14)
4. The Word of God (Heb. 4:12)
5. Testing ALL things, holding fast to what is good (I Thess. 5:21)
6. Test every spirit (I Jn. 4:1)
7. Learn God’s precepts (statutes) to gain understanding (Ps. 119:104)
8. Pray, be sober and vigilant (Col. 4:2 and I Peter 5:8)
9. Through wise counsel (Read Proverbs and seek out wise counselors)
10. Examine the fruit that is produced by a person or organization (Matt. 7:15-16)
11. Submit yourselves to God (James 4:7)
12. Do not compromise

 
It is crucial that we do everything we can to learn how to discern deception because of how dangerous it is. The Bible clearly warns us time and again to not let ourselves be deceived because MANY will be deceived in the last days. If possible, even the elect will also be deceived IF they are not careful.

Ever wonder why you seem to be getting attacked constantly? Why don’t things seem to work out for you? Most of the times they are demonic forces working through the people around you that are doing these things to you. The real enemy may be Satan. He and his demons are working overtime to destroy the believers. Satan has his set of objectives, but we as believers have our own.
 
According to John 10:10 and I Peter 5:8, Satan’s objective is to STEAL, KILL, DESTROY, and DEVOUR:
 
STEAL:  According to Luke 8:12 the devil steals the seed that is planted in us. The seed is the Word of God because he knows it saves us. He will also steal your focus, your time, your energy, God’s blessings, and our joy (by keeping us frustrated). He will cause us to be so distracted that we can’t be effective in what we’ve been called to do. 
 
KILL:  The enemy wants to kill us through life-threatening diseases, and/or accidents. He will try to kill our loved ones too because that would devastate us.
 
DESTROY:  The enemy wants to destroy our marriages, our relationships, our finances, our health, our faith in God, and our destiny!
 
DEVOUR:  I Peter 5:8 says he (the devil) seeks whom he may devour. He wants to destroy us completely by trying to affect every part of our lives and those around us. Many people have become so weary that they stop serving God because they don’t see the use if all they do is suffer.
 
The believer’s objectives [as commanded by Jesus]: 

• Matthew 28:19-20 tells us to make disciples of all the nations, baptize them, teach them, heal the sick, and expel demons.
• Mark 16:17 says that in Jesus’ name we will cast out demons, will speak with new tongues, lay hands on the sick and they will recover.
• Matthew 10:1 says, “He gave them power over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease.”
• Luke 10:19 tells us that Jesus gave us the authority over all the power of the enemy and nothing shall by any means hurt us!

 
Distinguish where the attack is coming from:

• The devil’s most effective methods are deception and offenses. Try your best not to be offended; be aware that it is a tactic of the enemy.
• We should not be so quick to run to psychiatrists and be put on medications when it’s just sadness or discouragement.  We need to run to God, His Word, and to those God placed over us and around us to help us through attacks. See James 5:13-18.
• Get the focus off yourself. Don’t take things personally. Look beyond the flesh. (Eph. 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood…). Deal with the pain but don’t stay in it! Otherwise, it turns to bitterness and unforgiveness and the enemy succeeds in keeping you ineffective.
• Don’t open a door to the enemy. Keep your heart clean from sin. James 1:14-15 says, “But each one is tempted when he is drawn by his own desires and enticed. Then when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full grown, brings forth death.”

 
How to protect yourself:

• James 4:7:  Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”
• I Peter 5:8:  Be sober, be vigilant.
• Memorize the scriptures and use them as a weapon at any given time. 
• Eph. 6:11:  Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
• I Peter 5:9: “Resist him (Satan), steadfast (strong, firm, immovable) in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.”
• Avoid bitterness.  It is like poison, and it springs up trouble (Eph. 4:31; Acts 8:23; Heb. 12:15).
• Repentance and forgiveness are necessary (See Luke 17:3 and Matt. 18:15-19).

 
Most importantly, “Test all things! Hold fast to what is good” (I Thess. 5:21). Do no give place to Satan. Live a consecrated life. You have been given the Word, power and authority as weapons to fight against the enemy. In the end, you will be victorious.

When you hear the word “womanhood,” what comes to your mind? When I set out to write my book, “Purposed for Womanhood," I was appalled at what I found on the internet as I searched the word “womanhood.” The results were erotic and perverted. It was certainly not what I expected. It’s no wonder many church-going women buy into the latest trend of showing lots of cleavage or their breasts. They don’t have a Biblical understanding of womanhood. 

Biblical womanhood calls for decency, dignity and self-respect. Some may think they have to give up fashion and dress like the Amish women (no offense to them intended at all). We certainly don’t have to go to the extreme. But we are called to use wisdom and discretion. It breaks my heart to see young women (who claim to be Christian) dressing in a manner that illustrates they are still allowing the world to dictate their fashion picks.  Ladies, if you are in ministry or are a church leader, please be the example the other women desperately need.  Don’t show cleavage or your breasts.  If you do, you don’t have the right to complain that people are looking at you a certain way or that men are being aroused by what you are exposing. I’m even seeing this type of dress on Christian television.  How sad and disturbing that the network even allows this.  ​

Let’s respect and honor our God. Let’s be the example the church needs. Only then will we be the example the world needs. We cannot bring the world into the church.  We are to be the light they desperately need.